Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it's great music for shaving your balls
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
