No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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