O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
