can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
