Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
