just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
