Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
