I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
