I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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