Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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