How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
