its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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