rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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