piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
