i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The beer is more important than you right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
