just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
