She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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