I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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