she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am available for nakedness
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
