i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
