$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
