Dual....:-)
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
