Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
