bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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