If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The adults are the big ones right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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