Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
