STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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