You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
