From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
