question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
