you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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