It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
