I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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