I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
