you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
