found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
