have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
