You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
