I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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