i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I deserve this hangover.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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