Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and she was petting her beer can
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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