Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
