she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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