i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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