I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
