Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
