they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
