Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
