I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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