I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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