Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need a beard to bite.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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