just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
