he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
