Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
